My Goodness, my Guinness!!!

St. Patrick's Day.

The day of the year where descendents of the British Isles (that'd be the UK, Ireland, Australia, the US and...uh...I guess South Africa and Canada) celebrate their Irish heritage however miniscule.

• I am 1/8 Irish, which is awesome and legit.
• I really love U2, Riverdance and Liam Neeson.
• I plan on eating corned beef & cabbage for dinner and possibly watching Michael Collins. Shame, most Irish movies are historical and justifiably depressing, but there's always Darby O'Gill. In fact most movies with Liam Neeson's (Northern) Irish accent would suffice. BTW Taken was awesome.
• I do not plan on consuming Guinness because here in the US it tastes like spoilt bird droppings.

Unfortunately, I never celebrated the Catholic saint's part-ahy in Ireland, but twice in London and it was a blast. If you could stomach the calories of 3+ Guinness (Guinni?), you got this amazing hat in the shape of a stout, complete with foamy top. Depending on the establishment, it may have listed the name of the bar. People started drinking at 9am and lasted into the wee hours.

Here in Amare-eeca, Folks gleefully belt out ditties like "Danny Boy," not realizing they're singing about death. Anyone whose not a fool or sexual pervert is in green to avoid getting pinched. Peeve? Irish people who get pinched for not wearing green then think they can pinch you back 4x...just because they are cynical and grumpy. That just sounds so Welsh. (Which I'm also 1/8...so I wear red or dragons on St. David's Day). Some people even see leprechauns:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

So best wishes for the day o' the Irish. Have fun, be safe and don't drive...too fast.

A Person of Polarity

I can answer one question you probably can't. Why am I here?

@: To blog!

That's right, kids. I've given in. And for now, as I become closely acquainted with a world sinking into economic and moral depravity, I find the answer to the existential question that has preoccupied some of the most intelligent, left-brained minds of the world. So at this moment...at this second in time...why am I here? Literally? To write about...nothing. Problem solved.

I enjoy discovering both sides to every story. I will find myself arguing things I actually agree with. I see the humor inherent in everything, like yourselves. Like myself. If my life was a movie, it would be an epic that could surpass genres: comedy, in my inability to eat an entire meal without getting it on myself; action, when I have to hurriedly put my shoes back on, grab my bag of 3 oz liquids, and compile my belongings from various bins after airport security so I don't hold up Trevor, the Uptight Traveller, behind me; horror, like the time the furnace came on after a long hot summer and it smelled a bit like fire; romance, like how not to screw up relationships; and finally, musical, when I drink too much and listen to "Oh, Sherrie" on repeat. Perhaps after a sequel or two, I will even progress to the leading lady, the quirky character who endured while the original actresses left over contract disputes or a court-ordered vacation to rehab.

So here I am, sharing my adoration for absurd analysis and all things alliterative.