A Person of Polarity

I can answer one question you probably can't. Why am I here?

@: To blog!

That's right, kids. I've given in. And for now, as I become closely acquainted with a world sinking into economic and moral depravity, I find the answer to the existential question that has preoccupied some of the most intelligent, left-brained minds of the world. So at this moment...at this second in time...why am I here? Literally? To write about...nothing. Problem solved.

I enjoy discovering both sides to every story. I will find myself arguing things I actually agree with. I see the humor inherent in everything, like yourselves. Like myself. If my life was a movie, it would be an epic that could surpass genres: comedy, in my inability to eat an entire meal without getting it on myself; action, when I have to hurriedly put my shoes back on, grab my bag of 3 oz liquids, and compile my belongings from various bins after airport security so I don't hold up Trevor, the Uptight Traveller, behind me; horror, like the time the furnace came on after a long hot summer and it smelled a bit like fire; romance, like how not to screw up relationships; and finally, musical, when I drink too much and listen to "Oh, Sherrie" on repeat. Perhaps after a sequel or two, I will even progress to the leading lady, the quirky character who endured while the original actresses left over contract disputes or a court-ordered vacation to rehab.

So here I am, sharing my adoration for absurd analysis and all things alliterative.